Tyler’S T-shirts for Veterans Day Fundraiser Final Update

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Hey Everyone!

The fundraiser is all wrapped up. We reopened it once and raised even more, plus an auction item from https://www.facebook.com/customgiftsbylinz!

In the end we raised $500 for the http://www.navysealsfund.org/ !

Thank you to everyone who liked, shared and bought shirts! For those of you that missed the fundraiser and want to check the shirts out, here is the link: https://www.bonfirefunds.com/tylers-t-shirts-for-veterans-day-fundraiser .

I am thinking that I will reopen around Tyler’s birthday in February as part of the #RAOKforTyler event we do every year. Unless we get a ton of demand for more shirts. So if you want a shirt go check out the link and say that you’d like one! It will send me a notification.

In the meantime, keep Paying It Forward and Never Give Up!

Chelsey

http://www.facebook.com/chelseystimson

Seasons: Everything Is Temporary

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Wisdom is knowing that everything is temporary and life goes through seasons.

I believe that success and happiness should be immediately celebrated. After Tyler died I learned to really live in the moment and be grateful for just one moment of peace or in the joy of a good laugh with friends. Tragedy, loss, and challenges should not drive you to give up. Really, neither one will last. Things are always changing. When we learn to roll through all seasons knowing they are not going to last forever  it is a sign of true wisdom and our growing experience.

When you see people who are very successful that are humble and kind, you are seeing wisdom. Winning lasts only for a day. Quickly that is all forgotten by the world. It is temporary like the summer. It is so important to invest in what really matters and endures.  Which I think is kindness. I think the best use of success is to improve the world around us.

When facing loss, challenges and unwanted change, we could best use those times to learn. We should not let those times push us into complete despair, stopping us from moving forward. We know that winter will end and it won’t be cold forever. Slowly Spring sneaks in and before we know it the whole world is renewed. If we keep moving, we will eventually find ourselves in a totally different place. Good things are always on the horizon, we just have to stay open to them during the hard times. If we let ourselves be defeated and stay down, it is very likely we will be miss the very opportunities that could raise us up and out of that place. We don’t have to stay in difficult times longer than necessary.

Never Give Up!

Be blessed and keep going!

Chelsey

Veterans Day Fundraiser for the Navy SEALs Fund!

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Usually for Veterans Day I do some #RAOKs (Random Acts of Kindness) in Tyler’s honor for Veterans. This year I am hosting a fundraiser for the Navy SEALs Fund, an awesome non-profit taking care of the community, even after they leave active duty.

I noticed that I really needed a red shirt for #REDFriday. Since I am a redhead, I have minimal red in my wardrobe, basically I have one red shirt. So I was lead to designing one and then ended up turning it into a fundraiser. They turned out pretty awesome, if I do say so myself! The front says “Never Forget” and “SO1 SEAL Tyler Stimson” and the back says “Never Give Up”!

As of today we have raised over $200! I am really hoping to hit $1000 after more shirts and the auction items sell.

I am excited and humbled to say that a fellow female Veteran, Lindsey Figgins, contacted me to donate one of her custom wood burning plaques to be auctioned off! Check out her page here: https://www.facebook.com/customgiftsbylinz

October 27th will be the day of the auction, and it is the last day the t-shirts will be available too! I have now added 5 more auction items, including Tyler’s Never Forget wristbands, Flag magnets, the very last of the Tyler decals and a Navy SEAL Fund stickers. All proceeds go to the Navy SEALs Fund.

Here is the event link on FB where you can bid on Auction Items: https://www.facebook.com/events/335737186587370/337234566437632/navySEALs fundScreen shot 2014-10-11 at 12.55.56 PMScreen shot 2014-10-12 at 11.04.41 AMSEALsticker

Here is the link to the fundraiser where you can buy your T-Shirt https://www.bonfirefunds.com/tylers-t-shirts-for-veterans-day-fundraiser

And as always, you can visit my Facebook page to keep up with what is happening in my world! https://www.facebook.com/chelseystimson

NEVER GIVE UP!

Chelsey

Find me on Twitter and Facebook! 

Loss Lessons: Success

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Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. -Steve Jobs

I am a big believer in belief.

By that I mean, what you focus on and what you REALLY believe about yourself will manifest itself into reality. We are capable of much more than most of us realize. 

Taking a moment to look around, I see people constantly focused on being the “best”, achieving success and in constant competition with others. (thanks Facebook! 😉 ).

We all want to do well, but there are a lot of different interpretations of success….money, a job title, beating someone else…though these are superficial, temporary examples of success. Many are attracted to physically beautiful, but false characters in movies, tv shows while living in unstable and unhealthy relationships in their “real life”.

I get caught up in this stuff too, hey I’m human, but quickly I am reminded that these things are truly worthless in reality. I learned this lesson from my greatest loss. Death can be a great teacher if we let it. It can teach us to live. 

When we focus on these superficial human ideas and feel that we are successful when we achieve them what does that say about our beliefs? What does that say about what we value in life? What we value in ourselves?

Perhaps success is when you reach a place where you are living your truth, confident in who you are and your purpose in this world, and those temporary, earthly items are no longer needed to validate who you are. You no longer need to “beat” someone else or cut them down to feel superior for a moment. And you will no longer tolerate that behavior from others around you. 

Confident, kind and giving people become the most attractive people you know and become your role models. Instead of your eyes searching for beautiful appearances, they search for beautiful and awakened spirits.

Your eyes open to the journey and struggle of every soul on this planet and how we are all connected, created by the same hand.

Perhaps that realization alone is the real definition of success in this life. 

Never Give Up,

Chelsey

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. -Steve Jobs

 

Part 2: I’ve Never Been A Widow Before

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Sadness. It is a useless emotion. I believe that it is necessary and has to be indulged to make it through our grief (and believe me, I indulged) but, it will not help you get anywhere new. Now anger, anger is a motivating emotion.

I was a walking ball of sadness and grief I was devoid of energy especially the first months after Tyler’s death. I could barely function. I was just surviving as a dehydrated, never hungry, zombie with bloodshot, aching eyes. I was lost. I had no power and I let others take care of me. Which is fine, that is what friends are for but at some point, I gave up all of my power to be me and had few opinions on anything or that I could muster the energy to express in contrast with someone else’s when it came to me, my husband, or our life.

This would have some detrimental repercussions in the long run because one day, I would be strong again and the sadness would finally be overtaken. I would finally regain full consciousness and some people weren’t going to like it. It was more change and we had already had quite enough of it by then. They were used to the widowed and broken me. Really I was just a shadow of my real self at the time.

Around 6 months, I woke up. I remember exactly when it happened. I was at the bank talking to them about finally taking his name off the accounts and all of a sudden it was like I snapped into the current time after living the day he died over and over…every, single, day. I would waiver back and forth after that, but never again would I go back to being completely overtaken by grief for months at a time. It was then I realized how much I had let go and how much I wish I wouldn’t have. I then realized that while I had many people supporting me, my weakness had also been taken advantage of by a a few.

Then I was angry. With myself, my situation and those that I allowed to take over. The good thing was I was finally awake and I realized I wanted to live not just exist. I wanted to live my life fully like I knew Tyler would have wanted me to. One thing about him was no one (except maybe me) ever told him what he was going to do. I knew this and knew he would say “who gives a damn what they think!”. I would smile and gain a little more confidence every time I thought of him saying that. He was well known for his bluntness.

I finally wanted to make the most of the time I had and now I wanted to do it in my own way.

Of course, after all this time of being an agreeable pile of moldable clay, obviously, it was going to be a tough transition for those around me to handle my sudden desire for independence. Even more difficult would be the courage for me to speak up and muster the courage to actually DO what I wanted and thought was best for me. Many people wouldn’t give this so much thought or struggle with just doing what they decide to do, but I was too worried about doing what others wanted me to do or thought was what I should be doing. Even with Tyler’s words ringing in my ears, I was struggling.

I would liken that time to a baby deer learning to stand. I was going to give it my best but there was no way around the fact that it was going to be awkward (VERY awkward at times) and I was going to make mistakes.

But hey, I didn’t know what I was doing! I had never been a widow before.

ayesno

Visit my Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/chelseystimson

What I Never Should Have Given Away

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Part 1:

Even before my husband passed away, I was never good at confrontation. Well, he would probably argue that in relation to him like most husbands! Usually, I would have to be pushed to it though and only if I could not find a way to avoid it. I am sure, also, that I can be categorized as a people pleaser. Mix that with some Christian sense of duty and I’ll give you everything I have…well, maybe more like let you take it right in front of me without saying anything….Or while mumbling to my self like Milton in Office Space about my stapler.

At least, that is what I used to be like.

Of all the things that I let go of or let people take without asking when my husband Tyler passed away, the thing I would miss the most would be my power to decide how to live my life. It is one thing I would get back after letting it go, however, I would have to fight for it.

I was so broken, so collapsed inside myself the day he died, I lost all sense of direction. My compass was spinning wildly as I sat surrounded by the ashes of my previous life. I was overwhelmed by the weight of my grief and the reality that my husband, my best friend, the center of my world, was dead. I would never speak to or see him again. I couldn’t imagine a life without him. Everything else lost it’s meaning and no longer mattered to me.

It was so strange, when he died, he was the person I wanted to talk to. He was the one I wanted to comfort me. He was the only one who really could. The reality was that comfort would never come. I would have to rise up on my own and deal with the pain.

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There Is No Such Thing As A Small Act Of Kindness

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One of my new favorite songs is “Do Something” by Matthew West. It got me thinking even more about helping others, non-profits and paying it forward.

 

There are so many great organizations out there doing great things, which is really wonderful! I am so grateful for all those that dedicate themselves to helping others. There are so many worthy causes it is easy to be overwhelmed when you go to look of where to donate or raise money for! 

But that is not really what I have been thinking about the most. What I have been stuck on lately was that it seems that some people think that everything has to be done in a big way and if you aren’t giving or raising a lot of money that you aren’t doing enough and it really isn’t worth noticing.

I think that is sad and not how I look at things at all.

EVERYONE can do something without spending a dollar and the last thing I would ever want to do is discourage someone from making a difference, no matter how small it may SEEM (key word is seem).

EVERY act creates a ripple effect.

Some people mentioned that they couldn’t afford to donate money during Tyler’s Random Act of Kindness event for his birthday. I wanted to make sure everyone understood that is NOT what is was about at all! Picking up that trash that you drive past every day, calling that friend you know is going through a hard time, donating clothes that are just sitting in your closet, donating to a charity or volunteering at the animal shelter, saying a prayer for a stranger, no one kind act is better than another. It ALL makes a difference! Just do whatever you can and what speaks to your heart! Do that and you can’t go wrong.

Just the act of listening or kindness to a stranger done with pure intentions in your heart can change someone’s whole day or even their life! I am blessed to say this from experience.

I remember what I appreciated most when Tyler passed away was people who could just sit with me and only say “this sucks”.

Yep. That pretty much summed it up and their caring presence was the most valuable thing they could have given me. Friends would call and check up on me or stop by and what did that cost them? Their TIME. I would say that it is not money that is the most valuable or helpful thing we can give, really our time and attention is most valuable.

So, where is I am going with this? I guess what I wanted to say was EVERY act of kindness, no matter how big or small, it all matters as long as it is coming from your heart.

If you can’t give money but can go out of your way to listen to someone who really needs it, well my friend, you can’t put a price on that! Don’t ever feel like what you have to offer isn’t good enough, big enough, or important enough. Don’t let anyone discourage you from doing what you can! Just do SOMETHING. 

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Never Give Up!

Chelsey

http://www.facebook.com/chelseystimson