Seasons: Everything Is Temporary

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Wisdom is knowing that everything is temporary and life goes through seasons.

I believe that success and happiness should be immediately celebrated. After Tyler died I learned to really live in the moment and be grateful for just one moment of peace or in the joy of a good laugh with friends. Tragedy, loss, and challenges should not drive you to give up. Really, neither one will last. Things are always changing. When we learn to roll through all seasons knowing they are not going to last forever  it is a sign of true wisdom and our growing experience.

When you see people who are very successful that are humble and kind, you are seeing wisdom. Winning lasts only for a day. Quickly that is all forgotten by the world. It is temporary like the summer. It is so important to invest in what really matters and endures.  Which I think is kindness. I think the best use of success is to improve the world around us.

When facing loss, challenges and unwanted change, we could best use those times to learn. We should not let those times push us into complete despair, stopping us from moving forward. We know that winter will end and it won’t be cold forever. Slowly Spring sneaks in and before we know it the whole world is renewed. If we keep moving, we will eventually find ourselves in a totally different place. Good things are always on the horizon, we just have to stay open to them during the hard times. If we let ourselves be defeated and stay down, it is very likely we will be miss the very opportunities that could raise us up and out of that place. We don’t have to stay in difficult times longer than necessary.

Never Give Up!

Be blessed and keep going!

Chelsey

Loss Lessons: Success

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Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. -Steve Jobs

I am a big believer in belief.

By that I mean, what you focus on and what you REALLY believe about yourself will manifest itself into reality. We are capable of much more than most of us realize. 

Taking a moment to look around, I see people constantly focused on being the “best”, achieving success and in constant competition with others. (thanks Facebook! 😉 ).

We all want to do well, but there are a lot of different interpretations of success….money, a job title, beating someone else…though these are superficial, temporary examples of success. Many are attracted to physically beautiful, but false characters in movies, tv shows while living in unstable and unhealthy relationships in their “real life”.

I get caught up in this stuff too, hey I’m human, but quickly I am reminded that these things are truly worthless in reality. I learned this lesson from my greatest loss. Death can be a great teacher if we let it. It can teach us to live. 

When we focus on these superficial human ideas and feel that we are successful when we achieve them what does that say about our beliefs? What does that say about what we value in life? What we value in ourselves?

Perhaps success is when you reach a place where you are living your truth, confident in who you are and your purpose in this world, and those temporary, earthly items are no longer needed to validate who you are. You no longer need to “beat” someone else or cut them down to feel superior for a moment. And you will no longer tolerate that behavior from others around you. 

Confident, kind and giving people become the most attractive people you know and become your role models. Instead of your eyes searching for beautiful appearances, they search for beautiful and awakened spirits.

Your eyes open to the journey and struggle of every soul on this planet and how we are all connected, created by the same hand.

Perhaps that realization alone is the real definition of success in this life. 

Never Give Up,

Chelsey

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. -Steve Jobs

 

David and Goliath: Invest in Yourself

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Recently, I was listening to a motivating talk online and they mentioned that successful people consider books an INVESTMENT in themselves, not an expense.

Additionally, they are always carrying a book or taking a course. Basically they are always trying to learn more.

I was glad to hear that, as I have my own little library and it is always expanding!

This is my latest investment and what I am currently reading: David and Goliath -Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants by Malcolm Gladwell. I have other books written by him as well, such as Outliers. When I saw this new book I knew I had to read it. It is great so far.

So, what is your latest investment? What are you reading?

Never Give Up, 

Chelsey Stimson

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Sports Psychology: Do You Have What It Takes? Part One

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Welcome Everyone!

Remember in my last blog post “Are You Enjoying the Ride?”  when I shared the quote from research that found that Intrinsic Motivation was more beneficial than Extrinsic Motivation? Here it is again just in case:

“In the end it seems that the one who meets the most goals is not happier than the one who can enjoy the process.”

I have always be interested in people, what motivates them and their experiences. This is part of the reason why I have a degree in Psychology. I am also always looking to improve myself and learn more, especially in working with horses and barrel racing. So naturally it led me to Sports Psychology. I think there is a lot of useful and insightful information coming from this field that not everyone thinks about or is aware of, so I am sharing it with you.

So back to intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Why do you do what you do? In barrel racing, work, or how about your life? Intrinsic means simply to come from within you, basically you do what you do because you truly enjoy doing it. Extrinsic would come from outside yourself, an example of extrinsic motivation would be attention from others.

Does it matter what motivates you? Research and Sports Psychology says yes, it does matter. Consider the following:

The main argument and difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation contends that intrinsic motivation is derived from a self-concept, core beliefs, internal need and development opposed to extrinsic motivators which can undermine these motivations. According to Dr. James Gavin, a professor at Concordia University, motives need to be additive in effect, which means the more reasons you find to motivate yourself to engage in a behavior, the more likely you will continue with and persist in these behaviors. External motivators are typically not additive.

Okay, so why does motivation matter? It matters because it keeps us going through losses and difficulties. It matters because it is an important characteristic of mental toughness, which is a huge part of being a successful athlete. One area of research in Sports Psychology is Personality and it’s importance to performance.

Personality

One common area of study within sport psychology is the relationship between personality and performance. This research focuses on specific personality characteristics and how they are related to performance or other psychological variables.

Mental toughness is a psychological edge that helps one perform at a high level consistently. Mentally tough athletes exhibit four characteristics: a strong self-belief (confidence) in their ability to perform well, an internal motivation to be successful, the ability to focus one’s thoughts and feelings without distraction, and composure under pressure.[28]Self-efficacy is a belief that one can successfully perform a specific task.[29] In sport, self-efficacy has been conceptualized as sport-confidence.[30] However, efficacy beliefs are specific to a certain task (e.g., I believe I can successfully make both free throws), whereas confidence is a more general feeling (e.g., I believe I will have a good game today).Arousal refers to one’s physiological and cognitive activation. While many researchers have explored the relationship between arousal and performance, one unifying theory has not yet been developed. However, research does suggest perception of arousal (i.e., as either good or bad) is related to performance.[31]Motivation can be defined broadly as the will to perform a given task. People who play or perform for internal reasons, such as enjoyment and satisfaction, are said to be intrinsically motivated, while people who play for external reasons, such as money or attention from others, are extrinsically motivated.[32]

So as you can see it is important to love what you do! Whatever you are doing, competing, working or just life in general, take a moment to look at what your motivation is. Are you too focused on others? Is it all about the money? Are you happy? Are you reliant on the approval of others? Does your world fall apart when someone else does better than you or gets something you wanted? It doesn’t have to be that way, but you will have to make changes.

If you really enjoy what you are doing, just keep going! Keep nurturing those intrinsic motivations and surround yourself with positive people. Be careful to not be drawn into that extrinsic world by others!

Do What You Like and Like What You Do!

AAA

Never Give Up!
Chelsey

Competition, Scarcity and Abundance

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While reading Nick Vujicic’s book “Life Without Limits” I came across something he wrote that struck me and I knew I would have to share. In the Chapter “Trust Others, More or Less” He writes about the importance on knowing how to interact with others and how important it is to have “someone to share ideas with, someone who always give us honest advice, or someone who serves as an encourager, mentor or role model”.

Which I think is excellent advice but what the relationship he wrote about next was the “Fellow Traveler” and it was something I hadn’t heard from anyone else. Though once I started searching I found a lot more on the topic!

First, here is Nick’s description of the Fellow Traveler:

“Fellow Travelers are usually peers, co-workers, and others with similar goals to yours, who are walking on a parallel road. They might even be rivals, but friendly rivals. You encourage and support each other by practicing an ABUNDANCE MENTALITY rather than a SCARCITY MENTALITY.”

So the key words there are abundance mentality and scarcity mentality. I realized after reading this where things go wrong in competition or when interacting with peers who are striving for similar goals and things get competitive. It is that so many are living with a SCARCITY MENTALITY. What does that mean? I will post a visual first to help explain.

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Do you identify with the descriptions? Of course, we all do! Becoming aware of what we are thinking and feeling is the path to self growth and ultimately can lead us to success in reaching our goals. But what happens when we are living with SCARCITY MENTALITY? It sure can make things a lot tougher.

Here is what Nick goes on to say on the topic:

When you believe in abundance, you believe there enough of God’s blessings–enough fulfillment, enough opportunity, enough happiness, and enough love–out there for everyone. I encourage you to take that point of view because it opens you up to other people.

And here is where he really gets to the point:

If you tend to think of the world as a place of scarce resources and limited opportunities, then you’ll see fellow travelers as threats who’ll take what is out there and leave nothing for you.

Competition can be healthy because it motivates you, and you will always find others who want what you want. With an ABUNDANCE MENTALITY, you believe there are rewards enough for everyone, so competition is more about striving to do your best and encouraging others to do the same. An ABUNDANCE MENTALITY  allows you to walk alongside your fellow travelers with feelings of camaraderie and mutual support.

This all really made me think about how I approach fellow travelers and how I could improve my mentality. I think it is easy to be pulled into the scarcity mindset by fear or also by being around others who live with that mindset! Sometimes you have to really evaluate your environment and what you have to do to improve yourself and your growth as a person. I think it is also important to stay focused on yourself and your performance. I think getting too caught up in what others are doing or how they are doing, will lead you to that scarcity mindset! Also, I don’t think that because we have similar goals means that we will have the same path to achieving them! Actually, no one does! That would be quite boring anyway. It is ALWAYS fascinating to me to hear the stories of those who have overcame their challenges, tragedies and achieved their dreams. And not one of them is the same!

Life is the most difficult exam. Many people fail because they try to copy others not realizing that everyone has a different question on their paper.

Definitely encourage, congratulate and support of course! Of course learn from those that you can and share with those what you know freely! Remember that helping people plus your talent equals your purpose! I also think being confident is a huge key to all of this. When you don’t have confidence, you are living in that scarcity mindset and will be reluctant to help others for fear that they will pass you by and take all your resources like Nick explained.

Additionally, being truly THANKFUL for what we have and have already accomplished is another key. In the photo I posted about scarcity and abundance the last two descriptions “They are entitled and fearful” on the Scarcity side and “They are thankful and confident” on the Abundance side. I think that comparison right there tells us all we need to know and I think this is an easy one to identify in ourselves. The important thing to remember is that we can always improve and change ourselves. If we become aware of things we need to improve on, then just do it! We are not trees, we can pick up our feet and go anywhere!

One person that came to mind who really lives with a abundance mindset in the barrel racing world is Fallon Taylor. She has helped so many people by doing free barrel racing tips videos, is always sharing encouraging words online and even offered private video coaching for just $25. I think so many young girls look up to her because she is so open, encouraging and just fun! She obviously has a heart for helping others and sharing her knowledge freely. She is competitive, obviously she made it to the NFR again this year! But she always has seemed to me as a very friendly and approachable person. She also does her own thing, is unique and is confident in that. You can see that in her outfits this year at the NFR! Some people have said some negative things about her style, but I wonder if they know how she gave artists a chance so showcase their work on a huge scale by letting them design an outfit that she wears. I may not be a young girl per-se as I am 29, but she has been a role model for me since I got back into barrel racing with Gigi and I am very glad to have come across her!

So, I hope that this blog helps you today. Maybe to just become a little more aware or maybe change your whole mindset! Nick Vujicic’s book “Life Without Limits” is a really excellent read. If you are struggling to overcome a huge life challenge or just trying to achieve your dreams, you will definitely find inspiration and wisdom in his book. I highly recommend it.

Until next time!

Make sure to watch Round 5 of the NFR tonight!

Chelsey

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Fallon Taylor