Ruts Along the Way

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Are you currently sidelined or frustrated with where you are right now?

The truth is that these times are all part of the journey. The key to achieving goals is pushing through all the dips, twists and an unexpected detours along the way. Really that’s where we learn what we most need know.

So how can we push through?

We can find a source of inspiration that will fan the fire (the upcoming NFR is a great source of that for barrel racers!) and do what you can right NOW with what you currently HAVE. Keep the momentum moving forward toward your goal and celebrate the small achievements. It can be easy to leot the imperfect conditions stall us out completely but I think if we wait for the stars to align perfectly we won’t get too far. We have all seen people in seemingly impossible situations achieve amazing things because they simply refused to give up!

I hope if you find yourself relating to this that you take a step forward and do one small act to get you closer to where you want to be today!

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Never Give Up,

Chelsey

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Seasons: Everything Is Temporary

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Wisdom is knowing that everything is temporary and life goes through seasons.

I believe that success and happiness should be immediately celebrated. After Tyler died I learned to really live in the moment and be grateful for just one moment of peace or in the joy of a good laugh with friends. Tragedy, loss, and challenges should not drive you to give up. Really, neither one will last. Things are always changing. When we learn to roll through all seasons knowing they are not going to last forever  it is a sign of true wisdom and our growing experience.

When you see people who are very successful that are humble and kind, you are seeing wisdom. Winning lasts only for a day. Quickly that is all forgotten by the world. It is temporary like the summer. It is so important to invest in what really matters and endures.  Which I think is kindness. I think the best use of success is to improve the world around us.

When facing loss, challenges and unwanted change, we could best use those times to learn. We should not let those times push us into complete despair, stopping us from moving forward. We know that winter will end and it won’t be cold forever. Slowly Spring sneaks in and before we know it the whole world is renewed. If we keep moving, we will eventually find ourselves in a totally different place. Good things are always on the horizon, we just have to stay open to them during the hard times. If we let ourselves be defeated and stay down, it is very likely we will be miss the very opportunities that could raise us up and out of that place. We don’t have to stay in difficult times longer than necessary.

Never Give Up!

Be blessed and keep going!

Chelsey

Veterans Day 2014

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Happy Veterans Day! Is that the correct greeting? I am not sure. Either way, today is Veterans Day, a special day meant to honor our past and present Veterans. I can’t not thank my fellow Veterans enough for their service and sacrifices. As well as the families that supported them through their service.

Yesterday was the Marine Corps birthday, which also is Tyler and I’s wedding anniversary. It would have been 7 years. I did pretty well with it this year. It is getting easier to smile at memories, rather than cry. I have so many blessings in my life today to be grateful for that I try to focus on.

Time is the most precious and valuable things we can possess. To sacrifice time with family and friends to serve is something see as extremely important to recognize. After losing someone, every last second with them is precious. Every lost  moment with them is painful. Veterans often miss holidays, anniversaries, the birth of their children, celebrations, weddings, funerals, and the many “firsts” with their children. Not to mention that many put their lives directly at risk to serve. The risk never having any of the moments ever again, so that those they love may live their lives fully and free. It is no small matter and I take it extremely personally and to heart. I hope that you take every opportunity to say thank you to a Veteran today or support them in some way.

I have been really busy, but in a good way. Today an interview I did with Alyssa Barnes, of the Earn Your Spurs podcast for Veterans Day, went live. You can listen here:

http://www.earnyourspurs.com/episode13/

You can also find the interview on the Earn Your Spurs Facebook page. Give them a like and check out the other awesome interviews Alyssa has done. I really appreciate her reaching out, support Veterans, and helping share our story with the rodeo world. Thank you Alyssa!

There are some really great things coming up here quickly that I will be sharing on Facebook as well, so get on over and visit my page at: www.facebook.com/chelseystimon

I am also on Instagram and Twitter so find me there!

I hope everyone has a wonderful day celebrating our brave men and women in uniform,

NEVER GIVE UP,

Chelsey

Loss Lessons: Success

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Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. -Steve Jobs

I am a big believer in belief.

By that I mean, what you focus on and what you REALLY believe about yourself will manifest itself into reality. We are capable of much more than most of us realize. 

Taking a moment to look around, I see people constantly focused on being the “best”, achieving success and in constant competition with others. (thanks Facebook! 😉 ).

We all want to do well, but there are a lot of different interpretations of success….money, a job title, beating someone else…though these are superficial, temporary examples of success. Many are attracted to physically beautiful, but false characters in movies, tv shows while living in unstable and unhealthy relationships in their “real life”.

I get caught up in this stuff too, hey I’m human, but quickly I am reminded that these things are truly worthless in reality. I learned this lesson from my greatest loss. Death can be a great teacher if we let it. It can teach us to live. 

When we focus on these superficial human ideas and feel that we are successful when we achieve them what does that say about our beliefs? What does that say about what we value in life? What we value in ourselves?

Perhaps success is when you reach a place where you are living your truth, confident in who you are and your purpose in this world, and those temporary, earthly items are no longer needed to validate who you are. You no longer need to “beat” someone else or cut them down to feel superior for a moment. And you will no longer tolerate that behavior from others around you. 

Confident, kind and giving people become the most attractive people you know and become your role models. Instead of your eyes searching for beautiful appearances, they search for beautiful and awakened spirits.

Your eyes open to the journey and struggle of every soul on this planet and how we are all connected, created by the same hand.

Perhaps that realization alone is the real definition of success in this life. 

Never Give Up,

Chelsey

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. -Steve Jobs

 

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“I just looked up today
And realized how far away I am from where You are”.

I realized, once again, that when things start falling apart and I am not being the person I want to be that I have drifted too far from my cornerstone. I need to “fix my eyes” and it is beautiful how everything starts to feel right again. That would be Jesus if you aren’t sure who I am talking about.

My story is not just a story of overcoming adversity and loss, it is also my testimony. Though I was getting closer to God when Tyler passed away, I suddenly felt totally confused and lost. Eventually, I realized God was had been with me the whole time, much like the poem “Footprints in the Sand”. 

I get so disappointed with myself when I find myself living in the secular world and far away from where I want to be. Usually the signs that I am not in the right place are obvious, though sometimes it will be something significant that really opens my eyes. It’s almost like dazing off while driving. 

I wonder how many other people experience this. I wonder too if it something I will continually face throughout life. I suppose so. 

Never Give Up,

Chelsey

 

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Is it Better Now? Throwback Thursday….a Journal Entry from June 8, 2011.

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June 8, 2011 Journal/Blog Entry……Is it Better Now? Almost a year after Tyler passed away, I share where I was on my journey.

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Today I went to have t-shirts made for the memorial skydiving event being put together for my husband. We had them made last year at the same place but a friend took care of it since I was obviously out of commission.

When I showed last year’s t-shirt to the woman she said ” It’s been a year already? I can’t believe it.”

I said “yeah, no kidding.”

“I remember him. He was a good guy (assuming from what she was told by my friend last year).”

I replied, “he was my husband.”

**Sorry’s & etc exchanged**

Then she says “My cousin was just killed in a car accident. He was in the military, deployed multiple times and made it home safe every time. Then he dies in a car accident and left his fiance behind. Well they weren’t engaged with a ring, but they talked about it and he had the ring. On his way to ask her he was killed.” (3 months ago)

Eventually she says the cousin’s fiance is not doing so well and asks me “is it easier now?”

I didn’t know what to say. This woman has talked to me more about my husband and what I think/feel than anyone else around me in the last few months. I am grateful for the interaction, but had to think about my answer. This is not the first time I have been approached on the subject though. A friend’s family member was widowed just recently as well, and I was sought out to talk with her. Which I was very glad to do, but I wonder if I am a magnet for this type of thing now? Anyone else? It makes me think of the cognitive effect (which my Psych professor would be quite disappointed with me since I cannot remember what is called :S) where if you buy a specific car you start seeing it everywhere whereas you never noticed them before.

I said “In some ways yes, it is easier, but it has also become harder in different ways now.”

She seemed satisfied with that answer.

Overall I can say just having the relief from the intense pain, both physically and emotionally from losing my husband probably warrants a simple “yes” to this answer but it is more complicated than that. The pain is now a dull, constant ache that is like the left over from a severe injury that has only healed partially and will never be the same again. It can also illicit searing pain when hit, taking you back to the day it was inflicted because of this….just look at my last post for proof of that.

But, I can also enjoy nature again. After sitting at the beach watching a beautiful sunset the other day, I rode my bike back home with my dog through the neighborhoods toward my house. It was twilight, about 70-75 degrees, quiet except for the random cricket, and smelled like pine trees mixed with freshly mowed grass.

I looked at the lavender sky and breathed in deep. I got choked up. I was happy. I thought at the moment, “I remember this. This is what being happy feels like. I am actually content right now.” It was the first time I had thought that, especially alone. I thought of Tyler and smiled as I pedaled my way home with our dog.

So is it better now? Maybe. In some ways. Some days. Yes?

The Unknown

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I have been thinking about life altering changes, mostly those that are unwanted and unexpected. There are a lot of challenges in life, but there are a few that can truly spin us around and leave us totally disoriented. They also take away our security and sense of our future. When your future becomes a black hole and you lose everything in a moment, what do you do next?

Death, divorce, and cancer…unexpected losses, life threatening challenges or tragedies are some of the life events that will test us to the max and kick us out of our every day comfort zone and rip our known future away. Of course these things happen all the time, we just don’t expect them to happen to us.

It is really bewildering to go from an everyday couple with a routine about to start a fun summer weekend to the 26 year old widow. At least it was for me. I know that other serious life events can have a similar feeling when it comes to where to go or what to do next after these experiences.

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For me, I felt frozen. I wanted to go backwards, definitely not forward. I felt it would take me further away from my comfort zone, my life that I knew, the husband I loved with all my heart, my best friend and the life we had planned out together. Our future. When I looked forward it was just black.

 

It was like when you first enter a unfamiliar dark room from the light and you can’t see anything. You put your hands out in front of you and squint to try to see. But there is nothing. So you try to shuffle backwards out of the darkness…..but then you realize that the door you came through is now a solid wall and there is no turning back.

 

So here’s what I figured out, you better get used to the unknown. Just like in a dark room, your eyes will adjust. Let go of the need to live in routine. Let go of living only in the familiar. You will adapt, but you do have to open your eyes and face it to overcome it.

I now believe that as terrible as these life experiences are, they are also blessings. Perhaps there are some people who get by in life with only experiencing minor loss and challenges, but will they ever really know who they truly are? If you are never pushed and tested, you can never know what you are capable of. A few naturally test their limits, and some, are forced into it by life.

Whatever has happened to you may be the absolute worst, terrifyingly devastating experience that you barely survive, but at the same time, it also can be the best one, that leads you to finally truly live for the first time.

What do I mean by that? You will learn to value every second, be grateful for every small blessing, feeling happy or one carefree minute in the light, once you get back to it. Laughing will become a cherished past time, as well as those that partake in it with you…because you have died while living, you now have the knowledge to know what it is to truly live.

The truth is, your future has always been unknown. You and others just convinced yourself otherwise. That is why these events are such a shock. People die? Marriages end? People are not perfect? I am mortal and not guaranteed a 100 years free of tragedy or suffering? What a revelation, right?

So, embrace the unknown. Then kick it’s ass. Learn to try, learn to take a risk, learn to make mistakes. Avoiding mistakes will lead you to living to only a fraction of your potential. You’ve already been locked into the darkness, open your eyes and step forward. It’s the only way to find the way out.

And as always, NEVER GIVE UP.

 

Chelsey

 

 

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